Note: This is more personal than I usually write, but PLEASE don't take it personally. I know it can take a journey to be where you are in life now.
B came over yesterday so he could borrow a dress for Halloween (yea, he's going to be a girl). We got to catching up and talking about things going on in our lives. Relationships, finding ourselves, friends, gossip, etc.
The first thing we talked about of course had to do with relationships. We started talking about how guys don't realize that by NOT telling the truth, they're hurting girls even more. Now don't get me wrong. Sometimes a girl needs to stand up for her own and be the one to end things, but right now I'm just talking about dudes. For example, if a girl and guy were talking or dating and the guy just suddenly realizes he's just not that into her, most guys tend to just stop calling or will disappear. The girl of course will wonder what's going on and wonder what she did wrong. That's just ONE example. So for you guys, JUST SUCK IT UP, BE A MAN AND TELL HER THE TRUTH. Even if she takes it hard, it'll be easier for her in the long run instead of being dragged along and confused. And girls, if you need someone to be blunt about guys and situations, read "He's Just Not That Into You".
That of course led on to "people need to learn to just be honest with themselves". Next example, if you haven't read Rach's blog titled "Single white female", you need to read it before you finish reading this one unless you've actually seen the movie (which i still haven't done). My thoughts to add on to what Rach said is that people that do things like that don't know who they are or accept who they are. People that aren't honest with themselves aren't honest with others. You shouldn't care what others think and should feel comfortable who you are. Find yourself. And just because someone is responsible doesn't mean they're emotionally mature. Realize what it is you're doing and admit your emotions. I hate people that say they're over their ex or they don't care when they really aren't. I see right through the people that say that. Another example is just breaking up with someone. If you're not over it, admit that you're not over it. This is something I don't understand about guys. Most guys I know meet another girl before they start getting over their ex. I understand sometimes meeting someone new is all in fun, but for those that get into relationships right after, how do you start having feelings for another girl when you still have feelings for your ex? I know everyone has their own opinion about things and handles things differently, but i see no reason to lie to yourself. Just don't front.
I've come a long way and been through enough shit to learn and have a different outlook on things. And in the last couple years I've learned more about myself than I have known in a long time. I may not know exactly what it is I want to do with my life career wise, but I know the things I'm interested in and what it is I want to dip my toes into (I'm into way too many different things). I still may not be the best at confrontation, but when it happens I'm not afraid to speak my mind. I don't care what people think and I'm enjoying MY life.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
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6 comments:
"Just because someone is responsible doesn't mean they're emotionally mature."
kris, you are the truth.
i like it.
I agree with you mostly, Krisee, but have two shiny pennies to throw in the pot. First off, most people who aren't over their ex don't know they're not over their ex. How do you know for sure that you're never going to feel anything towards them in any given situation? There's always going to be unresolved shit, because it didn't work out. I'm still dealing with all the things that Marika said about me, to me, from almost two years ago. It doesn't mean that I'm not over her, but it DOES mean that there's still a little bit of shit I need to work through. Where do you draw that line? There's a huge difference from wanting to be over your ex and being over your ex, and most people don't know when they've crossed over until it's too late.
Hoping that everyone will be honest with themselves and you as well is a lot to ask. A lot of people aren't honest with themselves because they've been hurt and they're confused about how to feel about someone and not get hurt again. I think everyone has to check themselves from time to time and make sure that they don't dive in, but some people do it better than others. I wish women would communicate better, to be honest. Especially the one that I've been seeing lately, who fits most of what you said in this post...which is why as soon as she calls me back I'm breaking it off with her.
So my bad if I sound like I'm calling you out, but I've seen a lot of shit too and heard a lot of shit, and tried to look at it all very objectively. People are going to be people and most of them will deal with their problems by running, which sucks for people like us, who tend to deal. The only thing you can do is try to build a relationship on honesty and hope for the best. Love is always a gamble.
Much love,
G
don't trip gabe! i don't think you're calling me out at all. exactly why i said "I know everyone has their own opinion about things and handles things differently". everyone has their own opinions and i respect that. this is just about how i see things.
:)
It was a good talk girlfriend...and there's not much I can say that you haven't covered. This convo can go on forever!
Just remember in the end, we are beautiful stone sculptures. But we don't get that way by putting bits and pieces of stone together, but by starting as huge block and slowly chisel away the excess. Honesty is simply the tool we use to carve out our personality.
Life is a also deductive process. We figure out life by honestly asking what we DON'T want, need, or like and that's all you can really do. You try something new and decide to keep it or toss it. With every new experience we have, a small chunk of stone falls off of the block.
Every person has a different journey and dances to another rhythm. Try not to be too harsh to people who haven't found their groove yet. We were all once more ignorant than we are now...
i concur brandon scott chien!
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